Ashlynn stats

Ashlynn is 15 months old.  Can't even believe it.  It's weird to think back to when she was an infant.  I don't really even remember those days.  It feels like Ashlynn has been in the family forever.  There is noone that can make me so happy at first sight.  She's getting big and doing so many things I can't even write them all down. 
Weight 20.10 lbs 11%
Height 30 inches  30%
She still loooooves her stuffed animals and is the best sleeper in the world.  She has had four teeth for a long time and now the other four are all coming in together. Pretty much I love her tons and wish I could spend every moment snugglin her :)

I've added this pic before. ... but I just love it so much and I forgot how small she was

Why is it never enough?

So I've been thinking all week about the things I haven't been doing.  I believe this to be a common problem among many women.  I also believe there is a significant more amount of LDS women who get the feeling of incompetence.  Alot of it is my own person problems of always feeling like I need to please every single person except myself which I get from my mom. whom I love dearly, but she definitely stresses the image of herself to others.  My mom was an awesome mom who always had a clean house, dinner on the table, raised 5 children and educated us religously with lovely little FHE lessons that she handmade. She made all of our wedding dresses, baptism dresses, prom dresses.  She made us all at least 8 amazingly time consuming quilts for our wedding and also made all/decorated all of our wedding cakes.  But enough about my superman mom, I'm looking for some insight on my dilemma.

Each day of the week I go from 6 in the the morning till about 8-9 at night (yes I go to bed about 9:30 quite often...).  there's not a whole lot of stopping in between that time.  Between full-time teaching job, full-time mommy and wifey, grocery shopping, work meetings, dinner, commuting, squeezing a work-out in here and there, Wednesday night young women activities, prepping Sunday lessons..... I feel like I'm always going.  Yet, at the end of the day I still have a feeling that I haven't done any good and I have feelings/thoughts that what I am doing is never enough.  (notice i didn't include cleaning, laundry, or lawn mowing into my daily routine...thats because Danny does most of that, he is an awesome Mr. mom).

I have reflected on these thoughts and feelings for a long time.  My poor husband has heard me whine about it an awful lot.  He always tells me to go do something for me or to get out of the house.  But the problem is that all I really want to do is be at home with my baby doll.  But then on the weekends when I am home I hate that I have such a feeling of unproductiveness (is that a word?).  But then at the same time because I'm going all week I really don't want to do anything or plan a big trip.  I would love to be able to go out and go shopping but the buyers remorse I get when I buy things sure does take the fun out of shopping....plus the one thing I really need are jeans and I hate jean shopping.  do you see the problem?  I will never be pleased it feels like.  So if you have any thoughts please share.  I will continue to search for something to add some balance to my day/week/month :) 

Maybe I just need to realize that I will never be able to live up to what my mind says I'm supposed to do.  I will continue to have a list of things in the back of my mind of things I didn't do instead of all the things I do do. again, Why is it I can never be satisfied in my work? Well, this truely is more like what you would see in my personal journal entries so if you made it reading this far.  great. please share your thoughts. 

She's walking now

Well, she's getting all over the place.  I needed to make this post to remember when she started walking because I know I will forget.  She actually took her first steps at a year old, but she would only walk up against stuff.  So last Sunday Danny and I decided we would help her practice her walking.  Well she LOOOOVES stuffed animals.  Doesn't matter what kind or anything she will go straight for it a cuddle it with all her might! so we decided to pass a stuffed animal to each other and make her walk to us to get it.  It was just like 3 or 4 steps at a time and each time danny would scoot back a ltitle bit more.  but about 10 minutes later she was going across the living room! Then the next day, she started doing it on her own.  Then about 5 days later she figured out how to stand up without pulling up on something and has been walking in circles around our house ever since.  I did get a video of her walking but not sure how to post it. 

We have also been teaching her a little sign language and I can't believe how fast she picks up on things! she has been doing all done since about 10 months and then she learned more...then she learned please and I just can't believe how fast she is picking up on things.  She actually understands things we say to her.  I do have mixed feelings about the whole sign language thing so I don't think I'll teach her anymore simply because I know a child who won't talk and only signs....So that will be all she's learning, but is sure is fun to watch.  

domestication

I don't know if domestication really is a word but I've been feeling like I have started to become domesticated this week.  I guess it's a good thing because everything I did this week made happy....but old.  I didn't think I would ever get to this point in my life but I guess here it is!!

I bottled fresh pears.  I watched my mom bottle everything tons of times growing up, but this is my first time :)

I went to the cannery with my ward and canned some food...never done that before...

 

Made a fall flower arrangement....I've also done things like this before but never because I felt like it.

 

I baked some rolls and cooked a roast in my crockpot.  I have done both of these before many many times but it went along with the theme of the week :)

love her!

So I will have to warn you that all these posts are about Ashlynn.  I used to think moms were crazy when all they would talk about were their children and crazy things they do.  But I just can't help it.  I love her soooo much and am so happy to have her that I just have to share it!! So if you are bored of looking at pictures of her I'm sorry....but I am officially one of those moms. 

She has figured out that a camera means to smile.  So I get this cheesy look every time the camera goes up.  It actually might come from the fact she knows a bright flash is about to go off...but I like to think she's smiling :)

Hunting

Hunting season has come around again.  So one night when we were getting ready to go up on the mountain Danny decided Ashlynn should dress for the occasion.  She did look adorable so I had to share.  And Dad was very pleased with her outfit :)

These two sure do look alike....